Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The pains and joys of motherhood

Parenthood, be it motherhood or fatherhood, is a big challenge in modern times. It involves big responsibilities and sacrifices. Parents should be able to get closer to their children. The best gain they can have is successful children. Many parents, especially mothers, put family in the second place for successful careers. They think that children can grow normally if they are taken care of materially. The problem starts during adolescence when children find there is a gap between them and their parents. They can relate genetically but emotionally, each is drifting apart. Successful parenting means a balance between family responsibilities, professional ambitions and the enjoyment of personal freedom. Each complements one another for self-gratification. It is naturally rare to find someone ready to be childless, jobless and morbid. Such conditions are just imposed by circumstances.

Good motherhood doesn’t mean being overprotective. Children also need a degree of independence. Mothers shouldn’t kill their children with protection and kindness. They should realistically be good mothers. What matters is the emotional bond between them and not the ongoing physical contact. In poor countries, it’s normal to see children in group outside roaming in the streets or playing in their neighbourhood without their parents constant watchful eyes. Children can cope among themselves. Parents’ role resides in guiding them without being too much authoritarian.

Mothers, in general, should defend their rights for equality and success but not at the expense of the rights of their children. They should have the ability to balance between their professional and motherly roles without neglecting the opportunity to enjoy the other sides of life.


Looney said...

I am always amazed that women in the West with the most wealth, education and freedom frequently feel oppressed, especially when family responsibilities interfere with a career. Sometimes it seems that more freedom and opportunity lead to more complaining, but this is probably too simplistic. A mother is a career that should always be honored.

Abdelilah Boukili said...

Yes Looney. The problem is that women see just having the career of mother as demeaning. they seek financial independence which entails more ambitions to compete with men. Now they seem at a loss for the right choice. Only retirement age makes them revert to traditional ways of life. But at that time it's too late for them to be mothers of new children again. They can have the chance of being grandmothers.